August 16, 2010

making crap up

there have been times in the past that i've wanted to be able to add minutes or hours to my day. add a child to my life, and that desire is multiplied by a gazillion!! there are not enough hours in the day to spend with this child. not to mention to get stuff done.

stuff. blech.

i'm weary of the spoils of my ambition, and i'm shackled by the comfort of my couch. i wish i had the courage to deny these of myself and start to store my treasure in the clouds. 'cause this is not my home. i do not belong where the antelope and the buffalo roam. (a little ap to drive home the conviction)

so last night's blog originally started off with something to the effect of "it's late and i should be in bed." repeat that for tonight!! (i don't know why i get the itch to blog late at night when i should be sleeping.) to sum it up, it basically said that work is going fine, shepard has done great being with his grandmothers while i'm getting the year started, and that i'm pretty sure we'll all be fine in the longrun. *groan* but i have such a hard time leaving that little face!!! have you SEEN him??

this thursday, shepard will be three months old. good grief. i remember saying that we would start putting him to sleep in his own room in his own bed at three months. i said we would really start solidifying the routine/schedule at three months. i said we would start simply putting him down for naps and helping him learn how to soothe himself. what's funny is that i feel like he's ready for all of that!! he's already sort of started to self-soothe, which is just amazing. here's to a good transition week!!!

thought for the night: how many times a week do you wake up and realize that you're going to have to just totally and utterly fake it? meaning, fake smile, fake enthusiasm, fake friendliness to everyone. does faking it count? i mean, if i'm totally dying on the inside and hating the world, and i'm fake nice to people, does that make me a liar? or a nice person? just wonderin...

chris got some hilarious pictures of me and the little guy tonight. i'll post them soon. :)


Blogger Gaye said...

it makes you an overcomer...rising above your circumstances and obedient to the One who loves you most.
I think you are pretty wonderful, too.

2:37 PM  

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